Posted in Uncategorized on April 18, 2015 by immorticon

120 BPM resting? Doesn’t matter. If my heart doesn’t work as hard as I do; that’s on the universe’s conscience, not mine.

If I Had Children

Posted in Uncategorized on April 11, 2015 by immorticon

“Daddy, why do people die?”

“Because they make themselves inescapable to people who never agreed to be in their life to begin with. It’s human nature to broadcast oneself and to expand physically… but the entire universes cannot belong to one person. Existence is quite a Venn diagram, hence the meek shall inherit the Earth while the loud and belligerent shall inherit an apartment in the upper east side.”


Posted in Uncategorized on April 9, 2015 by immorticon

You know your diet is questionable when you look at malt liquor like it’s healthy because it’s mostly water. Because hey, you’re drinking a lot of water. That must be healthy.

“You Don’t Love Me”

Posted in Uncategorized on April 4, 2015 by immorticon

Name one person who isn’t family that would go their entire life without fucking another person for you specifically. Name one person who would forego their biology, the very essence of their nature for you. Name one, and even so I will have been doing that for at least a half a decade longer than him. As it stands, you are suck incarnate.

My Life

Posted in Uncategorized on April 3, 2015 by immorticon

Nothing scares me more than the concept of heaven. Every time things are going unusually well I know something even worse than before is waiting just around the corner. That has always been the case.

Angel: “Welcome to heaven.”
Me: “Nope. Fuck that. Send me back down.”
Angel: “But you’ve earned it…”
Me: *punches Angel in the face* “Solitary confinement… now.”

Heaven is being alone.


Posted in Uncategorized on April 3, 2015 by immorticon

“If you were the last man and woman on Earth, what would you say went wrong?”

– “I’m exactly what I should be, and she’s exactly what she wants to be.”


Posted in Uncategorized on March 27, 2015 by immorticon

I haven’t asked for a raise in over a decade in the labor industry. You want to find a freeloader? Find one who protests too much.