Posted in Uncategorized on May 6, 2015 by immorticon

– “I once got so drunk that I saw in my mind the entirety of my being condensed into a single QR code.”

“No way. Like a square barcode?”

– “Well, yeah… but it was shaped like Italy.”


Posted in Uncategorized on May 5, 2015 by immorticon

“What is the sexiest quality a woman can have?”

– “Loyalty. Devotion. Haven’t met a single goddamned one.”

“Maybe you only notice the physically attractive women.”

– “No. Even the ugliest of bitches believe they deserve a Romeo, and even they cheat on their men because they believe they deserve better. There are over 7 billion humans on Earth. The bible says Jesus will save ten thousand. Quite frankly, I find it hard to believe there are ten thousand good people.”

Story of My Life

Posted in Uncategorized on May 5, 2015 by immorticon

“You’re an emotional child.”

–  “Actions speak louder than words. Who is the one name-calling? Is that really how you treat a child?”

The Prestige

Posted in Uncategorized on May 1, 2015 by immorticon

Physically speaking, seeing your face is the equivalent of seeing a magic trick that isn’t sleight of hand or smoke and mirrors. It’s like seeing a real magic trick. That feeling.


Posted in Uncategorized on April 30, 2015 by immorticon

Well I just threw up a lot of potato chips and French onion dip. That was a huge waste of tequila. Ah well, now that my stomach is empty I guess that means I’m up for another shot.


Posted in Uncategorized on April 22, 2015 by immorticon

A person doesn’t have an aspirin problem, they have a headache problem.

I don’t have an alcohol problem, I have a people problem.


Posted in Uncategorized on April 20, 2015 by immorticon

There is no lesson in a bad relationship other than the person was an undeserving cunt. Table salt is two deadly chemicals combined. Even if you share qualities with another person, those qualities may very well be what make you inert and what make them toxic.